


Faking a Fairytale or Two

by madqueenofhellskitchen



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, F/F, F/M, Gamzee is sober and then stoned and then sober again, God Tier fighting, In which the Curse from Once Upon a Time is appropriated, Karkat is an angsty bugger, Karkat mans up and saves a lot of lives no big deal, Karkat rides a bike and is pissy while doing so, Lots of major character death, M/M, Multi, Sexual Content, Some trolls have temporary human names but nothing outrageous, The Reckoning is coming--or is it?, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-15
Updated: 2012-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-21 05:25:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/593942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madqueenofhellskitchen/pseuds/madqueenofhellskitchen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU (With aspects taken from the show Once Upon a Time). On Alternia, twelve trolls live on a planet ruled by The Condesce, who is plotting with a demon called Lord English and his assistant Doc Scratch to become a full dictator on her own world, rule the galaxy as a whole, and destroy many life-forms in the process. As it turns out, Karkat Vantas is the one troll with the ability to stop her, with the help of his eleven other friends. But, to prevent this, English devised a Curse to banish every troll child to a place unknown, with no memories of their real selves. Karkat, though, thanks to his moirail-but-should-be-his-stupid-Matesprit-shut-up Gamzee, is spared, being magically transported but retaining his memories. Now, trapped in a small California town, Karkat must find a way to break the Curse that has a hold over his friends, reunite with his moirail, save two worlds, and find a way home. With the help of a few plucky humans, some nosy Dancestors, and a bunch of bitches, hags and badasses, he may just be able to pull this off. Maybe. Who knows? Karkat only knows that this is his life and he's Suffering for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One: In Which Karkat Learns to Hate Trees, Woods, and Gamzee’s Secrecy

##### 

****One: In Which Karkat Learns to Hate Trees, Woods, and Gamzee’s Secrecy** **

#####  ____

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.  
But I have promises to keep,  
And miles to go before I sleep,  
And miles to go before I sleep.  
~ Robert Frost  


On Alternia, a planet far, far away from your own little hut in the middle of the universe, there is a place where it is not grey and black and hot every day. In fact, on Alternia, there are many places that fit this definition-- if you have enough intelligence and intellect to find them. And if you can brave the sunlight. And if you have the time, because aren’t trolls busy enough as it is?  


One may believe that this place that has a semblance of color and eloquence would be upon one of the planet’s two moons, but, alas, you are sorely mistaken. This little corner of happiness on planet exists on the planet (if it didn’t, why would the narrator even say so?), and now that we have firmly established that, we can move on, yes?  


Years from now, male and female troll alike would state that it all began here: in this tiny woods, where most, but not all, of the trees contain black leaves with tints of gray and white, where the bark lets out hollow echoes when knocked upon, and where the air is fresher than that found amongst the respiteblocks. In this woods, where pinks and reds mingle in with the colors of night and shadow, where some sun rays peek through, but not enough to destroy a troll’s optical sockets. Though no troll lives here, and fewer probably even know of its existence, it is where it all began; the “fairytale” that each lusus of the troll children passed down years and years from now, and each adult troll would tell as a bedtime mythological tale, began in this exact woods.  


Karkat Vantas did not know this, of course, as he trailed after his moirail as quickly as he could; damn Gamzee and his strong legs, and fast speed, and, well, whatever else! But despite his huffing and puffing and grumbling, Karkat was enjoying the woods; there was peace and quiet here. No other moronic friends with deplorable thinkpails that rarely worked half the time. Sure, Gamzee was here, a few feet ahead of him, but he was being quiet (and actually not honking for once) and the Cancer was enjoying the other’s company…but no one else needed to know that. And in general, he enjoyed hearing the Alternian winged creatures chirping away, miles above his head. The grass was soft, the air clean, and-  


SPLOOSH.  


“…GOG DAMN IT, GAMZEE!”  


And the mud puddles were deep.  


“Why the HELL are we even here, Gamzee!?” As he stood ankle-deep in the mud around his left appendage, Karkat screamed at the Capricorn, who, though he stopped walking, failed to turn around.  


“We’re way too fucking far from the respiteblock, way too far away from any trace of civilization, for me to be comfortable, and you haven’t explained why we’re out here, and all you said was-“ Karkat paused to change his voice to imitate his closest friend (do not bring up how sad that is, Karkat knows ), “’A motherfuckin’ miracle is taking place here, Karbro, we gotta go to it’ and you just dragged me out here! Now I want you to tell me what is really going on here!”  


Gamzee merely turned and smiled at him; sometimes Karkat wondered if that stare could be considered soulless or just plain fucking creepy.  


“WELL?”  


Gamzee shrugged, “Gotta go see the miracle, that’s all.” The clown was rarely specific when it came to his “miracles” and if Karkat got angry at that every single time, well, he would have already had a few hernias (or the troll equivalent, which is just as painful)…  


…Wait. Strike that.  


“And how does a forest contain a miracle, Gamzee?” Realizing he was still standing in a disgusting pile of mud, Karkat removed himself, growling at the fact he was now covered in disgusting nature poop. That’s all that mud was—nature poop. Mother Nature Fecal Matter.  


Gamzee began walking again once Karkat caught up to him, both now walking at an even pace, and replied with, “Everything contains motherfuckin’ miracles, Karbro. Even you.”  


Not only was Gamzee a cryptic little shit, he also said things that made Karkat’s trollian vascular system feel as if it wished to explode with an unknown, disgusting feeling. It was made even worse when the idiot would just smile a smile that held real feelings in it. It was clear to the shorter troll that yes, Gamzee cared about him. Otherwise, he would not have agreed to this Moirallegiance. But the Capricorn made it difficult by being…well. Himself.  


“Shut up, asshole.” Karkat huffed; his thinkpan did not need to go down any path that revolved around the words “Gamzee” and “feelings” because he already had a bad enough of a headache and every time he turned his thoughts in that direction, Karkat only ended up whining in pain, hiding away in his recuperacoon for a far longer time than he ever wished to.  


“It’s the truth, motherfucker!”  


“Didn’t I just tell you to shut your windhole?” Karkat could not help but snarl and sigh, but his words did not—and never did—faze his companion. “I never understand you, Gamzee, I hope you realize that.” He was tired, evident in his voice; keeping up with the other was a chore, and he knew that. He had known that from the beginning, really, and yet Karkat could not tear himself away. Other trolls had broken off moirallegiance before; why, just look at what Feferi had done to Eridan just a few days ago!  


But…there was something about Gamzee that Karkat could not break away from. It was not just the fact that he felt he needed to protect others from the Capricorn’s volatile emotions if his sopor slime was depleted or his Faygo was missing or if he stepped on a pile of horns-  


Wait, we need to back track and get to the original point.  


It was not just the fact that he felt he needed to protect others from the Capricorn’s volatile emotions, or protect the Capricorn from the outside world; sure, Karkat had done both ever since he could remember stumbling upon Gamzee for the first time. But…there was more to it than that. There was a sense of (deranged) trust between the two of them after all these sweeps. There was a sense of (damning) compassion and kindness between them. There was…something. He never wanted to think about it too deeply, because thoughts lead to actions. And actions lead to a vascular system breaking down.  


But, Karkat could not help but smile to himself when, every time, it was him who was able to calm down Gamzee. Him. No one else.  


It made him feel just a tad more significant in this Gog-forsaken world.  


“We’re here, Karbro.”  


Gamzee’s feet paused, and Karkat snapped out of his reprieve. Not soon enough, because at some point during his thinking (THINKING! AGH!), Gamzee had grabbed his hand to hold it while walking. His bony hands were…warm. And tight, like chains; Gamzee’s whole body sometimes seemed like chains; metallic binds around Karkat’s entire being with a heavy weight attached to them…  


Other times, he seemed to be as comforting as sopor slime; comforting as silence and warmth. Because, as much as the smaller one hated to admit it, Gamzee was the one who calmed him down the best when anguish attacked him; Gamzee was the only one who would brush off his temper as if he did not care—well, most of the time at least. He was the least derisive troll towards the nubby-horned troll, and that…well. That was a miracle, ironically.  


But that was why Karkat could not hold the other’s hands; he could not risk changes between him and the clown. He was above stupid emotions that caused headaches. What he had was already perfect, in its unusual sense.  


There was no need to risk being flushed, especially for Gamzee of all trolls.  


Besides, the last time those feelings had popped up, he had landed face-first in the concrete while a female cackled like a hag above him…  


Funny, Gamzee had been the one to hold him while he cried that night. Huh.  


So, fear. Fear was why he let go of Gamzee’s hand and gave him an inquisitive look.  


“A tree? Why the fuck are we here for a tree? There’s trees back home, Gamzee.” Karkat rolled his eyes, but the lanky one just laughed.  


“’Cause my skeleton bro told me I had to bring you here, Karbro.”  


“…What?” He was sure he looked pretty stupid right now, what with his mouth gaping and his right eye twitching, but Karkat was too confused to care.  


“Yeah! Motherfucking Kurloz just appeared outta nowhere, and-“  


“Wait. Kurloz? Your freakish Dancestor that’s dead?!”  


Gamzee just shrugged, “Honk!”  


Another twitch, “Gamzee. You’re hallucinating again, aren’t you? Aren’t you?”  


“Not a hallucination, bro!” Gamzee crossed his arms, and did the closest thing he could to a pout, “Kurloz just appeared in front of me in my room this morning, man! It was a motherfucking-“

“Miracle, yeah, I get it.” Karkat rubbed his thinkpan temples, groaning, “Gamzee, why didn’t you tell me you were hallucinating again, I could have helped you or…hell. Not wasted my time out here, at least.”  


“Best friend, it wasn’t a hallucination! Motherfucker stood in front of me all up in my room and explained what shit was going down! Gave me a note and everything.” Gamzee gave his moirail a proud smile, the other just sighing.  


“Oh? And what did he ‘say’?”  


“Said I gotta put you in the tree so you can be safe.”  


“Excuse me?! Have you lost your fucking, flippin’ thinkpan?”  


“Yup!” A pause, “And nope! Lemme show you, just wait a sec!” The Goat ran to the tree, scurrying like a hyperactive cat (Oh God, he was acting like Nepeta, what the hell…), leaving Karkat to contemplate when he could go back to the block. He needed to watch that new romcom…No, seriously, haven’t you heard of it? Fabulous story, involving two trolls falling into a Matespritship, but the female loses her memory due to an accident. Instead of being an asshole, the male troll stays with the girl, hoping she can become flushed for him again, because he made promises to her.  


Anyway, he really needs to watch that movie; maybe Gamzee can watch it with him—WAIT NO, BAD IDEA. Very bad idea, ew, Gog what was he thinking and-  


And is that tree opening?  


Gamzee, the stubborn Goat that he is, poked and prodded at the giant tree with silver leaves until…it cracked open. Opened up with a door-like mechanism, revealing a hollowed-out inside with a flat bottom one could sit upon. It would be an uncomfortable chair-esque mechanism, but it could be done.  


“Well, shit…” Karkat whispered as he stepped closer, while his companion grinned like a fool, proud of what he had accomplished for his moirail. As his eyes gazed upon the arborous foliage, the Cancer noticed the tree’s inside was covered in unusual sigils; sigils made up of lines and swirls, like a painter had sloshed liquid on the tree with little care. Upon closer inspection, the only ones that were recognizable were that of his own.  


Those of the sign of Cancer.  


“See, Karbro! Motherfucking miracle, and the motherfucking truth.”  


“…I…I’ve never seen something like this…” His hand shaking in shock, Karkat reached out to touch the tree that loomed before him, stretching miles towards the Alternian sky; his bloodpusher pumping hard, it was as if he was recalling this tree before. It did seem more familiar now...It was as if he had been here before, years ago, millennia ago…

And…  


“Up you go, best friend!” Gamzee did not give Karkat time to think further, and instead merely lifted him up bodily.  


“AGH! JEGUS, GAMZEE! PUT ME DOWN—HEY!” Struggling, legs flying and kicking up a storm, Karkat inevitably failed to stop his moirail, and soon found himself sitting in the tree, legs hanging off the edge as Gamzee put a hand gently on his chest, while the other appendage lifted a finger to his lips.  


“Shh, Karbro. Ain’t got much time to explain what the motherfuck is goin’ on.” He was smiling, but there was…something different in the Capricorn’s eyes, and because of that (and Gamzee not removing his finger), Karkat was silent as his friend continued.  


“Condesce up and motherfucking losing her shit, man. Freakin’ out about some information that says things. About you.”  


Karkat tilted his head, wanting to speak, but he never got the chance, for Gamzee continued,  


“Bad motherfucker wants to send us all somewhere and take over the planet completely.”  


“She already rules over all of us and Alternia, dipshit. Or did the absence of, oh, I don’t know, every adult troll go over your head—mph!” Karkat had pushed away Gamzee’s hand to put in a snappy comment, but, well, it did not last long, for the clown’s finger was a lock on his face once more.  


“’Course she motherfuckin’ does. But she’s got friends in lots of places. Got a guy named Lord English on her side, bro. And some Doc.”  


That caught Karkat’s interest, and he immediately stopped struggling to speak.  


“English, here, is this super-powerful dude. Apparently he’s wanting to help take over other planets and shit. Lots of planets. Shit I’ve never even heard of, Kurloz wasn’t good at telling me what they were, whatever. And The Condescension wants us all to fear her even more, man. Wants to be all evil witch up in this shit and stuff. But see, this is where you come in, bro. You get to stop her.”  


“But-“  


“English found out about this…rule. Or some shit. Says you gotta stop her and him and the other him and you will. So he and Condesce are freakin’ out in the capital city, and English found some miraculous—for his motherfucking self—magic.”  


“…Magic?” His hand was once again easily pushed out of the way, “Gamzee, have you finally lost your shit? Magic doesn’t exist, moron!”  


“’Course it does, best friend. You just ain’t ever seen it. Magic everywhere! In the flowers, in Faygo, in-“

“I swear to all that is unholy and holy alike, if the next word out of your mouth is ‘you’, Gamzee, I will hit you so hard—MMPH!”  


This time it was his entire hand that stopped the shorter one’s words; Gamzee merely smiled, continuing on,  


“So English came up with this entire magical spell-thing, and he’s gonna send us all away somewhere, so we can’t help you stop him. ‘Cause we’re supposed to. Like…Like…Like motherfucking heroes in those stories you read about as wrigglers!”  


“…”  


“And we ain’t gonna remember shit about each other, this place, you, me, us, nothin’. But you will!”  


“…”  


“’Cause Kurloz said when I put ya in this tree, you’re gonna go with us to this magical, motherfucking place, but you’re still gonna be you! With all your miraculous memories of me and Terezi and Sollux and shit.”  


“…”  


“…And—Oh. Sorry, best friend, didn’t realize you’ve been meaning to speak your mind!”  


A huff, “The last two minutes of me PUSHING ON YOUR HAND didn’t give it away!?” Karkat let out a growl, “So, you’re telling me that I’m going to, what, ‘save the world’ or some shit like that? Because let me tell you something, best friend. I. DO NOT. DO. HERO SHIT. You want someone to do hero shit, go talk to Equius or Terezi or Kanaya or someone like THAT!”  


“Nu-uh, best friend. Gotta be you.” Gamzee shook his head, hair flopping all around.

“Yeah? Who the fuck SAYS? And how do I know any of this is TRUE?! For all I know, you brought me out here as some form of a prank, Gamzee, and you’re gonna leave me here locked in this fucking tree for fucking hours upon hours while you go and get fucking stoned!”  


“Aw, best friend, why you gotta say that? You know that if I’m gonna eat my pies, I’ll eat them with you.” A smile, and once again, Gamzee had totally missed the point.  


“That’s not the point, asshole. The point is, you’re speaking nonsense! How can any of this be true?”  


“It just is, bro. You just gotta believe-“

“AGH! NO, GAMZEE! Some of us just can’t ‘believe’ without proof! Some of us, those with a mind worth having, need physical proof about things that are important, and if you’re telling me something is going to happen to us—to you—I need proof about it!”

“But you don’t always need proof about things, Karbro. Like…do you need proof that I like you?”  


Oh God, Gamzee. Why did he always have to dig up feelings? It drove Karkat fucking nuts…

“Uh—W-Well-“  


“Or proof that our sun is red? That sort of thing? Some things are just…things, man. Don’t have proof, don’t need proof. Miracles don’t need proof, best friend.”  


“Gamzee, this is more important than just…liking someone.” Karkat breathed in through his olfactory sensor as calmly as possible, “Or what color our sun is. You’re saying that our world is in danger, that we’re in danger! That’s not…that’s not just shit you say without proof.”  


“Ohhh!” Gamzee nodded, “I get you, I get you. Here.” A hand dug into spotted pajama pants, and pulled out a note. “See? Here’s what Kurloz gave me.”  


The Cancer snatched up the note, orange and gray eyes scanning over it.  


I come from a doomed timeline. Needed to speak with you and I don’t have much time. This portal from my world only stays open so long.  


There’s Trouble up ahead for you. Your Condesce is planning to destroy this planet, enslave and murder as many of you as she can. Plans to hold up you kids as bargaining chips for the adults, so they fully bow down to her will. Has a friend called English, some demonic creature. He wants to rule some green land called Earth. Doc Scratch is his minion; they all have minions.  


Yes, you can stop them. Your moirail is the troll that is destined to stop them, but you and the other ten will aid him so that he will stop this. I came to you because, if not, your Karkat would fail and your timeline would become ours. A timeline where there is nothing but agony, and your—  


There were scratches and lines drawn across the next few words, so Karkat skipped downward.  


Your moirail is tortured continuously, just like his Dancestor before him. You yourself will be locked away for all eternity if you do not stop them. Many of your friends will die. All trolls will Suffer.  


What you must do? Simple. There is a tree in a wooded area nearby. I will draw a map of it for you. It is a legendary tree. I cannot say why, you will find out soon from someone more experienced than I. Look upon this tree and find the door hidden in it. Then, place Karkat inside. The curse will be enacted as the sun goes down this day, so you do not have much time. Say whatever you can to convince him to go with you.  


Yes, he will be safe. Once he is inside, close the door and wait. The curse will be enacted, and you will forget Karkat, Tavros, and everyone else. But he will not forget you. He will travel with you, be in the same place as you, but you will not remember who he is.  


I understand you do not want to forget him, but you do not have a choice. I also do not know how Karkat will be able to break the curse. I never figured that part out, so he alone will have to solve this mystery, and do it in time. With the troll children somewhere else, The Condesce will still be able to work out the rest of her plan, but it will be at a slower pace.  


Now, I must go.  


Oh, last thoughts and advice? Yes, I have some:  


Remember: the tree takes one, but he isn’t gone forever.  


He read, and reread. And reread it again. Karkat was a quick reader, but…but this.  


It just made no sense. And his life had to make sense! It had to!  


(But then why do you have candy-red blood, a little voice in his head whispered devilishly.)  


“…Gamzee, I-“  


Maybe what he needed was more proof? But then this was staring him in the face. And this was not Gamzee’s handwriting, and it was in purple ink, so…  


Either way, Karkat got his extra proof—in the form of a loud-  


CRASH!  


Both trolls turned to the west, where a small clearing to the outside world, the land beyond the forest, gave a clear view—of a red sky and purple-black clouds amassing.  


Alternia did not have purple-black clouds that amassed.  


“Gamzee-!”  


“See, best friend?” He was still smiling, smiling despite the clouds building up and up, in the direction of the capital of the realm.  


Still smiling as there was another explosion that rocked the whole forest and the clouds began to travel in all directions…  


“GAMZEE!” He was scared. Scared because yes, this was all horribly true. Horrible enough to make Karkat to forget to hold onto the precious paper his moirail had handed him, the note from Kurloz flopping to the ground.  


Scared because this time, for once in his life, he needed Gamzee to protect him…  


At his last shout, the Capricorn with frizzy hair turned, now downright grinning at Karkat.  


“Looks like you gotta go, best friend. Honk!” The wind was whipping at them, now, both heads of hair flying as it howled, and Karkat found himself shaking slightly.  


With his final statement, Gamzee pushed Karkat farther into the tree, to where the nubby-horned troll hit its wooden back.

“AGH! GAMZEE, WAIT!” That was not anger in his voice, but fear, and Karkat instantly felt shame…Shame that was not quelled by a soft hand touching his cheek, or a finger caressing and silencing his lips.

“Shh…You’re gonna be okay, Karkat. I motherfuckin’ promise.”  


A soft gasp, for he could not even remember the last time Gamzee said his real name…  


“You stay in there, ‘kay? I’ll see you soon. On the other motherfuckin’ side, wherever we be going.”  


“W-Wait-“  


But Gamzee only smiled and gave a little wave, slamming the doors of the tree shut with brute strength, leaving a wide-eyed Karkat in the dark, breathing erratically.  


“G-Gamzee? GAMZEE!” Fuck, this was not good. NOT. GOOD. With his bloodpusher in hyper drive, Karkat began pounding on the tree doors, shouting his moirail’s name, but they would not budge…  


If he had to harbor a guess, Gamzee was on the other side of the tree, holding the doors shut up until he needed to let go…  


“GAMZEE, SO HELP ME GOG! OPEN THIS RIGHT NOW!” He was screaming, while at the same time glad for the darkness of the hollowed-out tree; no one could see that his eyes were wide with unbridled anxiety—no one could see that his eyes were unleashing tears the color of passion and violence, and cherries and warm blood. “You just can’t LEAVE ME IN HERE! GAMZEE!”  


All Karkat heard was a small ‘honk’ in reply, confirming that Gamzee had been holding the doors of the tree all this time, his stubborn Goat ass not budging, not consenting to Karkat’s whims, not-  


More explosions, and what sounded like Troll Thor’s revered, powerful, clashing thunder, and the Vantas curled into himself, letting out a whine. It was shameful, but he was alone in the dark, so who really gave a damn?  


“YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME IN HERE, GAMZEE!”  


You can’t leave me in here alone…  


“YOU SON OF A BITCH, I HATE YOU! JUST OPEN THE FUCKING DOORS!” His voice by now was teary, edgy, and broken.  


I’m scared and you need to be in here with me…You’ve never left me alone before…  


You’ve never left me alone before…  


He never had, really…Ever since they were young kids…Sure, they had not been moirails since the very beginning, but Gamzee had been there from the start…An annoying little clown who praised some freakish Messiahs but still made time for Karkat. Karkat, the troll everyone laughed at behind his back; the troll who messed up more than he cared to admit. The troll who was weak, the last to say he was sorry, and the first to scream at incompetence.  


Somehow, in a sick, depraved way, it was only Gamzee who really cared…Even Sollux, who was one of Karkat’s closest friends, threw barbs at him that sometimes stung.  


Gamzee, though, never did…Sure, maybe he was just too stoned to care, but…  


Wasn’t that better than nothing…?  


He could hear wind howling, and amidst the swirling tornados rocking the tree’s trunk, Karkat could have sworn he heard screams. Terrifying, horrendous, blood-curling screams…It was those screams that made him wonder where the other trolls were…  


What about Terezi? What did she smell during all of this? And what about Tavros? That little handicapped asshole couldn't even walk, so what was he doing…?  


All of them…Hell, even that hag Vriska…  


It was as if he could hear them screaming, even if they were hundreds of miles away…  


“Gamzee…” His bloodpusher felt as if it was finally giving out after six solar sweeps of agony; the tree’s interior was getting darker, the thunder getting louder, and he felt like a caged prisoner, speaking to a crowd that did not wish to listen…and that would eventually hang him in recompense for a crime he did not partake in, for a destiny he wished to not be a part of…  


“Karkat…”  


It was a soft whisper, but it was the Capricorn; Gamzee sounded tired, maybe even a bit wounded.  


“Karkat…Find me…”  


A soft gasp, another tear, and the winds howled higher; there was no rain in this storm, but it was not needed…  


And when his moirail fell silent, Karkat Vantas found his eyes closing for reasons partly unknown…  


And partly out of despair…  


He could be spiteful, and wonder where his best friend’s Messiahs were…He could wonder why the fairies were false and would not come and save him…  


He could wonder why he was always destined to Suffer…  


But mostly, Karkat just wondered one thing…  


Where his one sturdy anchor to sanity, ironically, had gone…Where the moirail who had taken his childhood and livelihood troubles in stride had gone…  


And if he would awaken in time to find him…  


Hell…If he would awaken at all…  


\--------------------------------------  
 ** **Hours Ago, That Morning**** …  
\--------------------------------------  


Man, shit happened to a lot of people. Crazy shit. Shit that made you wonder what miracle life would pop up with next.  


Finding your Dancestor standing in your room with a stitched-up smile on his face was one of those blessed miracles, definitely.  


“Hey! Kurloz my literal blood-brother! What’s up?” Gamzee was lounging in his pile of bike horns without a care in the world. Sure, he had not slept great last night, but who the fuck cared? It was a great time to be alive and talk to trolls. And why question why someone who was supposed to be dead was standing in front of him? Gamzee had heard of weirder (maybe).  


Well, talk in a figurative sense. Because Kurloz merely shrugged at Gamzee’s question.  


“Ahhh yeah, right. Can’t talk, yeah, yeah. Hold on, motherfucker, I gotta get something to quench this awesome thirst of mine.” The younger Makara stood, moving his lanky legs towards a bottle of grape, Messiah-sent Faygo, popping it open and quenching his thirst. Meanwhile, Kurloz eyed him, and then shook his head, taking out a piece of paper from his pocket, along with a twisted-in-swirls purple pen, and began scribing.  


After a few more gulps of Faygo, the skeletal Makara waited no longer, and held the piece of paper in front of Gamzee’s face, waving it impatiently.  


“Huh?” A sticky hand touched it, so wide eyes could read it better.  


I come from a doomed timeline. Needed to speak with you and I don’t have much time. This portal from my world only stays open so long.  


“Woaaaaah…Portals. Honk!”  


Kurloz merely rolled his eyes; he had not expected any better of a response than that, honestly. He instead took back the piece of paper to write a response, and once again gave it back to Gamzee.  


There’s Trouble up ahead for you. Your Condesce is planning to destroy this planet, enslave and murder as many of you as she can. Plans to hold up you kids as bargaining chips for the adults, so they fully bow down to her will. Has a friend called English, some demonic creature. He wants to rule some green land called Earth. Doc Scratch is his minion; they all have minions.  


That seemed to get Gamzee’s attention, for he dropped the bottle of soda, stating, albeit very calm and collectively (with a bit of a lackadaisical attitude) “What? No way, motherfucker. That shit ain’t cool. I’m not a chip. Those bitchtits gotta be stopped, right?”  


Kurloz nodded at his frowning, fellow Makara, taking the note back to continue further.  


Yes, you can stop them. Your moirail is the troll that is destined to stop them, but you and the other ten will aid him so that he will stop this.  


“WOAH! Karbro is gonna save us?” That brought a maniacal grin to Gamzee’s face, “Karbro is pretty awesome. S’why he’s my best friend.”  


Kurloz merely rolled his eyes again, hating to be interrupted. Gamzee had snatched the note from him when, over his shoulder, he had read Karkat’s name, but the taller male took it back.  


I came to you because, if not, your Karkat would fail and your timeline would become ours. A timeline where there is nothing but agony, and your Moirail-and-Matesprit is tortured continuously, just like his Dancestor before him. You yourself will be locked away for all eternity if you do not stop them. Many of your friends will die. All trolls will Suffer.  


This message caused Gamzee to, surprisingly, frown, but not for the obvious reason; instead, he spoke, telling Kurloz,  


“…Karkat isn’t my Matesprit, man. Moirail, yeah, but…uh…”  


The muted troll raised an eyebrow, eyes questioning his young Dancestor; surely, Gamzee must be jesting?  


“He…uh. I mean…I dunno if he’s flushed red for me, man…Kinda a subject he’s not comfortable talking about, and he just got shot down by Terezi, so…And lots of trolls don’t switch from pale to red, so-“  


Kurloz did not have time for his young one’s depressing banter about his lack of a flushed romance. There was no time for that, so he merely crossed out the words “and Matesprit” and continued with his message, and when Gamzee ended his prattling with a question, he handed him the next set of statements.  


“So, uh…what do I gotta do, man? And I mean with this freakish situation, not…er…Karkat himself.”  


What you must do? Simple. There is a tree in a wooded area nearby. I will draw a map of it for you. It is a legendary tree. I cannot say why, you will find out soon from someone more experienced than I. Look upon this tree and find the door hidden in it. Then, place Karkat inside. The curse will be enacted as the sun goes down this day, so you do not have much time. Say whatever you can to convince him to go with you.  


“…So if I place Karbro in this tree, he’ll be safe?” That was all he truly cared about, wasn’t it? Karkat Vantas being safe…Even if Gamzee was confused about his real emotions for the other troll, he still cared. Cared in many ways, if Kurloz was correct.  


Yes, he will be safe. Once he is inside, close the door and wait. The curse will be enacted, and you will forget Karkat, Tavros, and everyone else. But Karkat will not forget you. He will travel with you, be in the same place as you, but you will not remember who he is.  


Here, Gamzee bit his lip, “I…Man, I don’t want to motherfucking forget Karkat! That’s not cool! He…He’s all I got up in this motherfucking planet and respiteblock. He takes my shit and I take his. A comforting, cool-as-can-be bro.”  


Kurloz merely shook his head as his Dancestor whined and ranted, but then, if his hypothesis about Gamzee’s real feelings were true, the skeletal one could not blame him. Forgetting someone you were flushed for was painful…Bloodily painful…  


I understand you do not want to forget him, but you do not have a choice. I also do not know how Karkat will be able to break the curse. I never figured that part out, so he alone will have to solve this mystery, and do it in time. With the troll children somewhere else, The Condesce will still be able to work out the rest of her plan, but it will be at a slower pace.  


There was a sigh from the shorter Makara, but a nod of consent, “Fine, motherfucker. Whatever’s gotta happen. Don’t really care as much about me anyway, man. Things will always turn out fine, right? For me, yeah? But Karkat, man, I always gotta keep an eye on him. Gotta protect him, it’s my job! Honk! Just…don’t mention the flushed stuff, motherfucking skeletal bro. He doesn’t need to know that shit, especially if he’s gonna go away. And if you say I ain’t gonna lose him forever, well, that’s okay too! Just gotta let the miracles flow. As long as he motherfucking finds me again, wherever we go, s’all good on my part, right? Just sucks that I gotta forget his motherfucking pretty face, honk.” A little shrug, and Gamzee watched as Kurloz drew a map on the back of the letter, and add more words after the completion of the first task.  


Now, I must go.  


“All good, Kurloz bro. I’ll get him there, promise. Gotta make sure my best friend is safe to save all of us, heh. Ya got any more advice for this twisted-up-with-determination motherfucker?” The younger troll gestured to himself.  


Kurloz, with a smile, nodded and concluded with,  


Oh, last thoughts and advice? Yes, I have some:  


Remember: the tree takes one, but he isn’t gone forever.  


Then, before Gamzee could question the other further, waves of light appeared from behind Kurloz, blue sparks shooting out like firecrackers on a human-holiday (whichever one, man, who knows that shit's specific name?), and in a blink, the once-thought-to-be-deceased (or was he still?) Makara vanished, leaving Gamzee holding the note.  


“HONK!”  


Okay, that probably was the appropriate response at a magical, miraculous portal opening up in your room, taking away your Dancestor to another place in time.  


But there were more important things to be concerned about that weird-ass magical stuff. I mean, didn’t that stuff happen every day, really?  


What mattered was Karkat. Just Karkat. If he was gonna do something good and save the rest of them, and Gamzee had to help, well, that was that. It was going to be done, and it was going to be done correctly.  


I mean, look at all the times Karkat had been there for him? Calming him, rubbing his back, helping him with the pies (even if Karkat yelled the entire time through); Karkat was…Karkat. He was the best moirail a motherfucker could ask for, really!  


And if…if Gamzee felt things. Unusual things…Things involving Karkat’s skin and lips and his heat; his nook and bulge…Well. Gamzee needed to keep those things to himself. Why burden his already over-burdened moirail with the idea of Matespritship?  


But those feelings were there…There as he bounded down the hall of the block to Karkat’s room, slipping in as silent as a snake, curling up against the sleeping Vantas’ body in the cocoon; it was a tight fit, but Karkat was small after all.  


“Mmn…That better be you, Gamzee…Fuck…” Grumbling with a sleepy half-smile, Karkat did not flinch as the clown, grinning like a fool, entwined their hands together in front of the Cancer’s chest.  


“’Course it’s me, Karbro. C’mon, I gotta show you something!”  


“Psh. You’re kidding, right? It’s way too early, you asshole.” Karkat sighed, but did sit up, removing his hand from Gamzee’s after a moment of sleepy thinking.  


“Nah, man. Sun’s up, so we should be up.”  


A derisive chuckle, “I beg to differ, you clown-sludge-wearing freak. Sane trolls wake up when it isn’t too early.”  


“But it’s important, Karbro, come on! And we gotta go a long ways to find this miraculous shit!”  


And the other sighed, just like Gamzee figured he would, and consented, again, just like Gamzee believed he would, because this was Karkat. Sweep after sweep, he truly had not changed…  


He only showed slight change when he was screaming in that tree, and though he could not be seen by the smaller troll, Gamzee let purple tears fall as he heard his moirail yelling out in pain, in fear, and he was helpless to do anything; he wished he had been told that helping Karkat would cause such immense feelings of agony in his vascular system.  


I’m not abandoning you, motherfucker, I swear…  


“GAMZEE!”  


The silent ‘please’ was audible in Karkat’s voice, and it broke something in Gamzee…  


I’m sorry, Karbro…I always make you upset, don’t I…? Always yelling and screaming and sad…  


…Still love you, Karbro…  


The clouds were just over his left shoulder now, and the clown knew it was time; he could already feel chills up his body and a clammy feeling over his skin. He did not want to forget, but what choice did he have? Just staring at…this thing…this curse…he knew what Kurloz had been warning him of was true…  


Turning back to the tree, Gamzee clung to it as tight as he could; if he had to go, it would be near Karkat…  


Was that not the truth…?  


Whenever something happened…it was near Karkat…  


And as a moirail to the other, he had sworn, deep down and without speaking a word, that he would always go first before Karkat…  


Because Karkat was Karkat and if any deserved to be saved, it was him…  


Even if he was not able to see it…  


“Karkat…Find me…”  


And if Gamzee smiled and placed his lips on the doors of the tree, giving a kiss goodbye just as his eyes closed, before being swallowed up by the dark…  


Well, no troll was the wiser…  


\-----------------  
 ** **Back to the Present…****  
\------------------  


A gasp and he awoke, realizing that he was flat on his back on…a surface that was very uncomfortable.  


“Fuck…” Karkat was panting, eyes staring up at a sky that was the bluest of blues; even Vriska's’ hemospectrum color had nothing on what he was gazing at. And that! What was that? It…  


It was a sun, and immediately fearing for his eyes, Karkat closed his orange orbs, but…then the troll realized it was not as warm on this planet as it was on Alternia. Heat, of course, was caused by solar bodies in the sky. Therefore, if it was cooler here, then the sun must be cooler; therefore, less dangerous.  


With tense muscles, Karkat cracked open an eye, and yes, now that he looked at this sun, it was yellow, with hints of white and orange…It was…different.  


He truly was somewhere else…  


Gamzee had been correct. They had all been sent somewhere else…  


“Hey! Hey buddy!”  


Karkat snorted; it seemed that there were loudmouths here in this place as well. Instead of answering, because why should he, the Cancer stayed put, not moving from his prone position on…what the hell was this? Ah, hell, he didn’t care.  


“HEY!” But the voice got closer and before Karkat could scream ‘go the fuck away’, a face appeared above his, smiling in the most annoying way possible.  


“Hey buddy, why are you just lying on a tree stump?”  


A boy, wearing dark, square glasses and a white t-shirt with a green design, stood above him, while holding onto a blue and silver mechanism with two round, flat-orb-like attachments.  


This boy…he was extremely different…  


His skin was pale white, with dark hair, no horns…He was no troll.  


He was something else entirely…  


And Karkat was somewhere else entirely…  


This boy, though he seemed of major unimportance, was about to do great things at the age of thirteen…  


This boy’s name was John Egbert, and today was his thirteenth birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are! Chapter one :) Stay tuned for a plucky and kind John, a grumpy Karkat, and the appearance of a few other well-beloved characters.
> 
> Thanks for reading, all! And for your comments and faves, too! :)


	2. Two: In Which a Troll is Human, Kanaya is Wise, and Karkat Wonders why John has Fucking Faygo

****Two: In Which a Troll is Human, Kanaya is Wise, and Karkat wonders why John has Fucking Faygo** **

\-------------------------------------

Hate must make a man productive. Otherwise one might as well love. ~Karl Kraus

\---------------------------

He’s used to hearing lots of chatter; it comes with the job of being Gamzee’s moirail and just living next to the bastard in the same hive. Seriously, why did he decide to take that task on again? Sure, the clown’s Lusus eventually stopped coming around all together after a period of eight months (funny, it was Vriska who told Karkat that, but then again, how is that a surprise? The bitch probably waited eight months to let that slip because that’s how she got her rocks off), and after lecturing Gamzee for a very long time about not telling him from the beginning, Karkat ordered the Capricorn into his hive and block. He’d live there ever since.

So yes, Karkat was used to lots of talking. Or lots of weird talking. Or lots of both. But this? 

Well, hell, this kid didn’t know how to shut up. 

“Wow, this is really cool! I’ve never seen you around here. I’m John. Egbert. And-“

Wait, did he have two names? What the fuck? Oh wait, last name? Karkat still wanted to call him “Fleshy Dipshit”. 

“Oh man, I love meeting new people! And on my birthday, too! Hey, I’m thirteen, how old are you?”

What in Gog’s name was a birthday? It sounded like “wriggling day” but…with more cheer. Which made it more disgusting. Karkat would be that this pink, fleshy boy did not have to go through trials on his “day of birth”.

“Aw, you’re probably about my age. You look it! Oh man, do you live around here? Are you a new townie? Do you live out in the woods? That’d be so cool if you did! We already have one girl who lives out there and—“

Okay, he really can’t stand chatter-boxes-slash-squares-slash-octagons-slash-whatever, so the Cancer decided to end this before “John” decided to go on another tangent; reaching out with a quick hand, he grabbed the other’s face, squeezing as gently as he could possibly could.

“Listen. Kid. I’m going to say something, pause to make sure you understood me, and then continue. Okay?”

John said nothing, but blinked. Karkat took this as consent.

“Good. Now…DO YOU EVER SHUT UP? I SWEAR. YOU HAVE BEEN TALKING FOR THE PAST FIVE MINUTES WITHOUT STOPPING. HOW DO YOU DO THAT? WHY DO YOU DO THAT? In other words, CAN YOU SHUT UP?”

His right eye twitching with annoyance, and that was still more of a reaction than what Karkat got from the other; the human in front of him merely nodded with wide, confused eyes.

“Good. VERY good, way to go, a miracle for YOU, pal—“ Karkat sucked in a breath because miracles, what the hell was he thinking, “Look. I just need you to calm down and-“

“Are you okay?” Crap, he should not have let go of John’s face, because the boy was talking again, and why was he doing that?

“DO I LOOK OKAY TO YOU!? I’m out here, in the middle of some Gog-forsaken woods, in the middle of some place I haven’t a fucking clue about, and I’m talking to some pink human boy who DOESN’T EVER STOP TALKING AND IS FUCKING CONFUSING!”

“Well, if you wanted me to stop talking, you could’ve just said something!” John smiled and gave a shrug, and Karkat wondered if he still had his sickles tucked away in his specibus…

…But when he slyly felt his pocket, there was no specibus there. Shit.

“…Look. John. Human John-“

“Just John is fine!”

“…”

“Boy, you look angry.”

“YOU THINK?” Another scream, but it seemed to not fault John, who continued to smile, albeit a bit confused. “YOU WOULD BE ANGRY TOO IF SOME STRANGER JUST CAME UP TO YOU AND STARTED TALKING! DID I LOOK LIKE I WANTED TO FUCKING TALK?”

“Well, you looked lonely just lying there on that tree stump…” A shrug from the glasses-wearing boy, and Karkat huffed out a sigh, while glancing back at the stump he had landed upon after closing his eyes back on Alternia. It was knotted, a brown hue that was nearly black as night, and old and decrepit. It bore a resemblance to the one that had started this all, and that was a scary thought in itself.

Now that he was standing, having jumped to his feet right after John had appeared, Karkat could get a better look at his surroundings. It was certainly a type of woods, but one of complete contrast to the one he had previously been in. This one bore greenery everywhere, and anywhere. Leaves blew gently in a soft breeze with dewdrops hanging off of the tips; there were darker leaves on darker brown branches and trunks, while grass stretched out to his left and right, with a dirt road cutting down the entire emerald field; the road itself traveled off to the east and west—the forest continuing down the former, and what looked like a town eventually appeared in the latter direction. And nothing but hills and darker trees with needles flanked the other two directions. Karkat has never truly seen this much green, not even counting Kanaya’s clothing and lipstick color choices.

But it was when Karkat was glancing at this scenery did he notice something else that was entirely off:

His skin color. 

The difference—the extremely terrifying difference--was spotted when he directed a hand towards the ground to pick up a fallen leaf (which, in hindsight, was a stupid idea; what if it had been poison?); instead of a gray, dry hand in front of his eyes, there was…pink flesh with no claws. Short, stubby nails that looked as if they had been chewed on (just like how he would chew on his claws as a nervous habit) replaced said claws, and fine hairs grew across his new skin, the color of sun-kissed dirt.

“AH-…” A twitch, and his body was shaking; slowly, Karkat retracted his hand to feel his face; it too was soft, squishy, and warm. It was then that the troll brought both hands out in front of his eyes, taking in a shaky breath, and lifted both to the top of his head.

It was just as he feared—where his horns had been, there was nothing. Nothing but hair. A few inches downward, there were normal, rotund ears. Human ears.

“A-Are you okay?” It was John. For a moment, Karkat had forgotten that he was there, being too wrapped up in his own shock and distraught feelings.

“…I’m…human?” It was a question, whispered in fear, in awe, and it took all of Karkat’s strength to remind himself that he was a big-boy troll. That he would not break down here, out in the open, in front of this real human boy who was too nice and too curious for his own damn good.

“Of course! What else would you be?” Oh, he really was the pinnacle of innocence, wasn’t he? Excuse Karkat, he felt nausea coming on.

“…R-Right…” He tried a smile, but his new nails were digging into his palms out of strain. 

A pregnant pause occurred then, mixed in with Karkat staring at the ground, willing himself not to scream, while John merely hummed and shuffled his feet; the thirteen year old seemed to be immune to awkwardness unless it was truly, truly awkward.

“So…Hey, you want to come back to town with me? It’d be really fun if you wanted to hang out for a while!”

Karkat responded with a sigh, running a hand down his—normal/abnormal—face; where there was a normal mouth, plump and pink with no troll teeth and fangs, where his eyes were not sunken in, and his face overall had a healthier plumpness to it.

“C’mon! Please!” John was begging now, having apparently gotten the idea that he and the other could be friends? “It’s my birthday, we were planning to have lots of fun and-“

“LOOK. I…” A little growl, “I just want to go home.”

“Oh…” The Egbert boy did not hide his frown, “Well, where is home?”

A derisive chuckle came from Karkat, shaking his head, “You know, the funny thing is…I don’t really know, and I can’t really get back home, Kid.”

Whereas any normal person would question him further, probing and pressing for more answers and details, John merely showed a sorrowful expression towards the other. John, it seemed, did value privacy to some extent—or he was just too incompetent to ask for more details. Or maybe his compassion and kindness for the entire world blocked out selfish questions. Karkat was not sure which one it was, and he probably never would find out what the answer was. 

Regardless, John spoke up again with,

“Well, that sucks. You can still come back with me, if you want?”

Of course, every instinct in Karkat’s body trembled out the answer “no”, but in his mind, he could not give that answer.

If the curse had worked correctly, then the others were nearby—more than likely, they were in this town John was speaking of. Kurloz’s instructions had stated that Karkat would travel with them, but remember who he truly was, and what they all were. It was also irony (and more than likely a coincidence) that, because he had traveled by tree, he had landed on another tree. 

Karkat had never been a troll of faith, but here, in this situation? Maybe he just had to be. Maybe he just had to have a little bit, and believe that Kurloz and Gamzee had been correct in their words, and that they were nearby…

Oh God, he needed to find Gamzee…He truly did not have time to wallow in misery when Gamzee could be doing Gog-knows-what, and the others could be in danger...even if he despised them all to some extent, they were still trolls in a foreign environment, and could be in hot water. That, and maybe a small part of him wanted to prove his superiority and leadership qualities, even if he doubted that he had them half the time.

“Fine. I’ll go with you.”

“Great!” John took his metallic device—presumably for riding? Travel?—and hopped onto it, “You can ride behind me, as long as you hang on.”

Karkat, who had been walking towards the other, halted his steps, “Wait, WHAT? You expect me to get on that thing?!”

“Well, yeah! Haha. How else are we going to get back to Hustenville?” 

“I am NOT getting on one…one of those!” He accusingly pointed at the blue and gray contraption, but John only laughed.

“What, you’ve never ridden a bike before? C’mon, it’s just a short ride. And I can teach you later!”

“FUCK NO. You are NOT teaching me and I’m not—HEY!”

The glasses-wearing boy chortled again, having already started to ride away to tease his possibly-new-found-friend with the idea he was leaving him behind; but, of course, John backpedaled, allowing a grumbling Karkat to come close.

“You should’ve seen your face! Hah! Sorry, I just love to joke around with people. You’ll see, I’m the prank master of my town. Even my best friends admit it!”

“Whatever, asswipe.” The shorter male snorted, while staring at the…”bike”. How did any creature use this sort of thing? What, were humans too lazy to walk? Or too lazy to make something more…efficient?

It was not just Karkat’s begrudged and putrid feelings for the cycle that caused him agony; trying to get on the machine was another matter. First, he did not have anything to actually put his rear on, so…

“FUCK!”

The dirt road…

“SHIT!”

Or the grass…

“FUCKING HELL!”

Commonly met his side and back and rear as he would fall over in despair (ANGRY despair). 

“You know, it might be easier if you hold on to me…”

“FUCK NO!”

“And stand up a bit while bending your knees…”

“I WAS DOING THAT, YOU ASSHOLE!”

John merely sighed and let out a patient sigh; seriously, what was with this kid? Did he ever get angry or pissed off?

“Really, you can just grab my shoulders…”

Karkat made a face that was akin to the one he made whenever Gamzee acted as if he was going to barf…Or offered a pie…

“Oh come on! It won’t be that bad, I swear!”

“…Ugh…”

The Cancer grumbled under his breath, but once again climbed upon the bike, thighs hugging the metal, feet gripping the sides; staring at John’s back as if it contained every venereal disease known to troll-kind (not that there were many, but you would be quite surprised what these diseases did—why, there was the Nook Itch, and…Oh, never mind). But, the troll still placed his hands on the human’s shoulders (other human? How could he describe himself now, and the boy?), sighing with,

“Fine. Go. I’m set—SHIT, SLOW DOWN!”

That was not a girlish scream. It was not even a manly scream. You know it was not.

But John just laughed, pedaling away, “Aww, lighten up! Riding a bike is fun!”

“SAYS YOU! SHIT!” Karkat wobbled, and clung on tighter, and no, if you are wondering if he whimpered, he would deny it. Forever. Until the end of time. 

“Ahahaha!” John let the dirt fly into the air, leaning forward to put more speed into the bicycle, “By the way, stupid me, I never asked you what your name was! So?”

“Uh, it’s Ka-…KK. Just call me ‘KK’.” Why bring out a fake name? That’s not who he was. He was Karkat, whether he had the horns or not; and Sollux had always called him KK…

“Okay! Well, welcome to Hustenville, KK. ”

There was a twinkle in John’s eye as he gazed over his shoulder at the other, but Karkat shrugged it off.

He could not remember the last time he had had a twinkle in his own eyes, and when he had seen it in the others, he had always wondered one thing: what was he doing wrong? But that was not something one asked aloud; instead, he always portrayed it to be that everyone else had it wrong…

…Didn’t they? Look at them. Look at how happy they had all been, and now where were they? In some town, on some planet…

They were on Earth…The planet they had only heard about in books, the planet that had been rumored to be created by their ancestors from millennium past. 

They had been too optimistic, too soft in their ways…

And now it was all gone to He-…Hustenville.

Maybe the real question was who named a town that? Seriously. 

\------------------------  


Hustenville had been founded on April 13th, 1342. So yes, today was its Founding Day as well as John’s birthday, but no one ever went out of their way to celebrate with big parades or balloons and sales. Hustenville’s Founding Day was spent like every other day: being charitable, working hard, and enjoying one’s self.  


If you were to look for the town on the map of California, you would never find it. If you were to ask anyone about it, those from San Diego or Los Angeles, for example, would know nothing of it. It was as if the town had just appeared out of nowhere, like…magic.  


But that was preposterous. If you were going to say that, you clearly have been reading too many fairytales.  


This town had been founded years ago but many men of many ethnicities, but clearly, none of them were trolls. Trolls would not have allowed for stores to be set up on cutesy, kitschy streets, with flags and begonias, with fountains and cobblestones.  


There were dozens of buildings, as far as Karkat could see. A library of black and green stone, an inn that resembled an old style home made entirely of light-brown wood. A school with three floors and shining glass windows, windows synonymous to that of the gymnasium’s. The town had the other basics: a family restaurant, a computer and electronic store, an animal shelter, a hospital that gleamed tall and white, all dispersed throughout other houses and homes.  


As they came into the center of town, a fountain glistened, spraying water in arches that were the highlight of the square, with benches and stones to sit upon. Karkat had never seen such a fountain before; two marble figures, one male and female, were lifting up a small baby boy, while other children were spread out amongst their feet. Designs of males and females were etched into the border of the fountain. Oddly, in a strange setting, Karkat found peace gazing at the statue and listening to the water…  


From this height, down another road was spotted a lake, with a harbor; the waves were silent as the mute, with the wind being calm, if not nil, and the sun was high as it could possibly be, making the water look like the kinds of gems Kanaya would have enjoyed on a necklace.  


“I live right over there!” John had stopped the bike at the square, and was now pointing to a blue and white house ta was situated only a few yards away; it was medium in height and width (or how big it was, in other words), and stood proud with a pinwheel on the lawn and a weathervane on the rooftop. It was not a shabby house, and was quaint in its own…special way. Very special. Like how John was “very special”.  


“Er…That’s…great—WOAH! SHIT!”  


And John had taken off again, speeding down the street without giving Karkat time to breathe; few people were out and about, but some denizens could be easily spotted milling and perusing the buildings.  


But as the streets passed by in his vision, Karkat noticed one in particular…A tall, lanky male was on his right, gazing into a clock shop; he wore dress slacks and a sweater-vest, his midnight-hued hair was not wild and frizzy, but tamer, gelled down, while a bony hand held a pointy chin in contemplation.  


The man, whoever he was, turned, locking eyes with Karkat’s own for just a moment, giving him the sweetest smile…  


That face…though it was a peachy color, and the eyes were the color of the ocean…dark in hue, and nearly purple…  


The vision of him shot a bolt of suspicion through Karkat.  


Gamzee…?  


But before he could ask, or pause to question who the man was, John was still zooming on, the stranger left staring at Karkat’s back, his head tilted in a familiar, albeit confused, manner. Sadly, Karkat missed that head quirk, and was left to stare at the home John pulled his bike up to.  


“We’re here! Don’t worry, it’s just me and my dad.”  


“Your…’dad’?” Karkat hopped off the metal mechanism, thankful to be on solid ground again; he crossed his arms, waiting for a response from the other in regards to this “dad”. That word was…unfamiliar to the troll, but also familiar in the sense that, when humans were spoken of in passing stories, the word had been mentioned, along with “bed” and “mother” and “brother”.  


“Yeah, my Dad. He’s…a bit weird. But he’s still really cool, and I love him. He takes care of me and we do have lots of laughs!” John answered, chaining his bicycle to a tree in the front yard. “Don’t you have a dad?”  


“Uh…No.” The Cancer shuffled his feet awkwardly; surely, his lusus could not be considered a “dad”. His lusus did not have fun or make him laugh, and he…took care of him in the sense that it was more mechanical drives and orders than true familial compassion. No troll considered themselves a part of a family; Karkat understood why it occurred, but, in the dead of night, sometimes he wondered what things would be like if…his lusus was more of a father figure. Or if he had been allowed to have parental guidance. It need not be a true “dad” or “mom”, but adults that he could turn to if he ever ran into trouble.  


But that probably, without a doubt, would never occur. Families made trolls weak, yes?  


“Oh…I’m sorry.” John gave him a sad smile, “Do you have any family?”  


“Uh…Well…” What could he say? Surely explaining troll culture would just make John think he was insane; he was human now, and he had to act like it, “I have a guardian, so I guess you could count that asshole.”  


Well, it was the truth, yes?  


“Well, good! Everyone needs someone!” The human boy spoke as he opened the front door, “Follow me. Dad might be home and we can just avoid him, heh.”  


After Karkat followed him inside, the bespectacled boy shut the front door quietly as possible; this gave Karkat a moment or two to stare at the front hallway of the home—which was surrounded in harlequin dolls.  


“Uh…Uh…”  


Creepy.  


Creepy.  


Harlequin dolls.  


All staring into the poor troll’s “soul”….Trolls did not have souls, but it is truly the only genuine metaphor that fits here.  


“Oh…Yeah, I guess I should have warned you about those…”  


They were sitting on shelves, and one tucked into the stairway’s banister that lead up to the second floor. Another sat on the couch near the fireplace, while another sat in a pot full of fake flowers.  


“WHAT THE FUCK—“  


“SHH!” John cut the other off with a hand to mouth, a task made easier by the fact that Karkat had scooted just a bit closer to John out of fear of the dolls. “We don’t want my Dad to hear you just yet! I’ll tell him about you later, okay? He’ll probably try and throw a cake at me again or something right now…It’s easier to talk to him when he’s…not…uh…”  


“…He throws things at you?”  


“Well, he’s the one who taught me all about pranking!” The thirteen year old one gave a laugh, “It’s not a terrible thing, he’s just…weird sometimes. Especially when he bakes things, ugh.” John gave a little shiver. “But c’mon, follow me.”  


Keeping to the wall, John tip-toed into the living room, careful of the dolls and furniture; Karkat, though finding the action stupid, followed him closely, rolling his eyes as John peaked around the corner.  


“Hang on a sec!”  


“Why?”  


“He’s in the kitchen!”  


Curiosity peaked his interest, so Karkat moved his head; there was an adult male standing in the next room, but his back was to the two boys. Atop his head was a hat, and he was adorned in a suit; if Karkat was to be honest, he looked positively…well. Normal. And if he had never laid eyes upon those ghastly human objects that were scattered about the house, Karkat would have assumed that John’s parental figure was just a boring human being, by looks alone.  


The man was working with his hands, and both boys could smell something sweet; but where it just confused Karkat, John’s face took on a look that was downright troublesome.  


After a few moments, John’s “dad” placed the circular object he had been working on aside, and left the room through the other door, closing it behind him. At this, John let out a sigh of relief and entered the other room, a room that shone with chrome and wood. Cabinets of white-washed wood were scattered throughout, while a metallic food-sorter (the humans called it…refrigerator? Yes?) stood tall and proud. A small table with three chairs was on the far side of the room, while a black and white chandelier hung above it.  


“Good, he’s gone.” John peaked at the circular object that his Dad had been poking around with; when Karkat leaned in to gaze at it, it was white and blue, and looked positively decadent in taste. He imagined Terezi would have enjoyed the smells it gave off—and would have then thrown it in his face because that was the kind of girl she was, no lie.  


“What is that putrid thing?” The Cancer asked, and John just snorted.  


“Nothing you need to worry about. Dad was just…well. He likes to bake. But he likes to bake this stuff.” John held up a red and yellow box, and then threw it in the nearby trashcan; all Karkat caught of what the box said was “Crocker”.  


“Anyway! You don’t have to worry about that old thing!” The human was nearly skipping when he went to the refrigerator, “Why don’t I get you something to drink? That’s the polite thing to do, right?”  


And as he pulled the appliance open, Karkat found his mouth dropping open. Though any normal person would smile and gawk at the sheer amount of food the Egbert’s contained in their household (John would reply with the fact that he had grown up in a family that always encouraged eating healthy and eating as much as you needed; just ask his deceased Nanna!), this was not the reason the Vantas boy was gawking.  


“What…is…that?” A pale finger pointed at the bottle sitting on the top shelf in the large container of food  


“Huh?”  


“THAT!”  


John turned and looked at what his companion was referring to, “Oh, that! That’s just a bottle of soda, of course! Haven’t you heard of Faygo?”  


“NO!” Karkat denied it so vehemently and so rapidly that it had startled the other, “NO, I DO NOT KNOW WHAT THAT IS. WHATSOEVER. I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THIS BUBBLY LIQUID CALLED “FAY-GO” THAT IS PURPLE AND ORANGE AND SOMETIMES RED.”  


“Um-“  


“AND I DON’T KNOW ANYONE WHO DRINKS IT EITHER.” Sure, it was a lie, but Karkat could later attribute it to shock and/or desperation…right?  


“Uh…Haha, okay? Do you want anything-“  


“NO!”  


The young human just laughed, “You’re weird, KK, but I like you. It’s nice to see a new face around here.” John helped himself to a bottle of water, “C’mon, I’ll show you around the house. “  


Though a tour sounded ridiculous, Karkat complied; he knew that he was alone in this world for the time being, and being of a sound, tactical mind, the troll kept close to the one who had found him. Perhaps John would lead him in the right direction towards solving this mystery, this conundrum…  


The house was standard issue; paintings and family portraits littered the hallway along with the harlequin dolls, though in none of the pictures could Karkat discern a proper face of “Dad”. There were flowers and hats strewn about, along with a few pairs of shoes. The windows were open to let in the fresh summer air, and the carpets were soft on his shoes, while hints of flowers (which would soon be entitled “lavender” hit the Vantas’ human nostrils).  


“And here’s my room! It’s got an extra bed because sometimes my friends sleep over. But if you don’t have any place to stay, you can take it.”  


“…Thanks…”  


John’s room was that of an average human boy; two beds, in the form of a bunk setting, while a computer sat off in the corner of the room. There was a dresser for clothes, a chest for items of pleasure and fun, and…cakes. Karkat decided not to ask about the cakes.  


“Or Neffie runs an inn down the street…But it’d be nice if you decided to stay.” And the boy was giving him that smile…Shit, maybe John had more in common with Gamzee than he thought; all the clown had to do was smile and get Karkat to do any shit he needed, and here was John begging him…

“Ugh…I guess I—Wait, Neffie?”  


“Huh? Yeah, Neffie. That's just her nickname, I think her full name is Natalie Effinton. She helps run the inn down the block and she works at the animal shelter. But you’re gonna stay, right? Please? Please!”  


While John bounced up and down on the balls of the feet for an answer, a thought struck Karkat…  


Neffie…Is that…  


Nepeta…?  


“Please!?”  


Karkat shook his head, coming out of his thoughts, “FINE! FINE JOHN, I’LL STAY!”  


“Sweet! I can’t wait until you meet Dave and Rose and Jade! They’ll love you, I know it.”  


The troll sighed, “Listen, John…That’s all fucking sweet of you and everything, but I told you I really need to get home. And I’m looking for people.”  


“Huh? You’re looking for people?”  


A sigh, “Yeah…You wouldn’t happen to have seen a really tall guy wearing clown makeup around here, right?”  


John looked at Karkat as if he had grown a second head, “Uh, nope. Pretty sure I’d remember that.”  


Damn…  


“Okay, have you seen a guy in a wheelchair?”  


“You mean Tav? He’s in a wheelchair. He spends most of his time at the hospital.”  


Tavros…!  


“How about an asshole that sweats a lot?”  


A shrug, “That could be a lot of people! But Quentin works out a lot…does that name ring a bell?”  


Quentin…Equius?  


“Okay, uh…how about a blind chick?”  


“Um…Tess is blind? She works at the restaurant we passed in the square.”  


Terezi…?  


“Okay, that’s…good. But are you sure you haven’t seen a really tall fucker with shaggy hair and clown makeup? Honks a lot? Says the word ‘motherfuck’ like every five seconds and drinks Faygo-“  


“HEY! I thought you said you didn’t know anyone that drank that stuff!” John smirked and Karkat found his face heating up,  


“I LIED, ALRIGHT! But listen, I NEED to find this guy. It’s super important because without me there, he could get into a hell of a lot of trouble, or do something stupid, like…like break his fucking nose or some shit like that.”  


“Hmm…” The other paused, tapping his foot, “I don’t know anyone like that around here, but Karen might. She’s really smart and works at the library and pretty much knows everything. She also dresses really fancy!”  


Karkat nodded, “Okay…I’ll go and talk to her.” That has to be Kanaya…It has to be…  


“Say, how many people are you looking for, anyway?”  


A snort, “Eleven. I need to find all eleven of them. But the one I talked about, the…clown. He’s really important. He’s supposed to be near me most of the time so he…er…doesn’t get in trouble.”  


He’s the most important…  


“And do you think all eleven of them are here? In this town? You know it’s small, right?”  


“…Just call it a hunch, Egbert.” A snort, “Look, can we go see her in a moment? I need to…uh…”  


“Bathroom?”  


“None of your fucking business.” Karkat scowled, but John just let out a chortle, knowing the look of those who needed the rest-room by heart. In truth, the troll did now feel the stirrings of his human bladder kicking in, and John had introduced him to the bathroom previously; though it was different from the Alternian ones, the basics were the same: piss, bathe, and wash.  


So the troll stomped his way to the room down the hall, grumbling about smartass humans and their stupid eyeglasses and—  


But when he found the light switch John had used to illuminate the bathroom on their earlier tour, Karkat finally, finally…got a good look at himself.  


They had merely peaked into the bathroom earlier, for, really, it was just a bathroom! A shower, a toilet, a sink; nothing special. But now, standing on the bathroom rugs the color of Equius’ blood color, Karkat could see himself fully in the mirror before him.  


He was still wearing his typical sweater with his Sign and his gray pants, but his face and body were entirely different. He was still too skinny, and still too short, but with sans horns, gray skin, and the claws and miniature fangs of his teenage kind. Though this he already knew, he was shocked as to what he had been given instead, as compensation: eyes the color of hazel, with whites and black pupils. His hair, though mostly black, had touched of light brown streaks in it, as if it had been kissed by the sun one too many times. His face, too, showed this—freckles, little tiny brown dots, were sprinkled across his cheeks near his eyes. His ears were plump, as were his cheeks, and he looked so…  


So much like his troll self, but still so much different…  


He looked positively hideous…  


Gamzee had never been a looker (to other trolls, but Karkat would oblige the other and state that there were…handsome features to him), but he had had the right height, nice eyes, and a smile that would either curl your bones and skin, or warm your stomach, depending on the context. But Karkat had always sold himself short, and why shouldn’t he? He was the shortest troll amongst all of them, with a temper that could rival the tallest human skyscrapers. He was no Kanaya, no Eridan, no Feferi…His attractiveness level was moot; did that not explain why he failed to have any sort of Matesprit?  


His troll skin had always been dry, and now his human skin mirrored that quality; his nose was tiny like a button, again mirroring his trollian scent-sniffer. It was all so different, but the poor quality was still the same—piss poor.  


But…there was one more question…  


Was his blood the same?  


Was his candy-red mutation finally gone, or was it still there?  


Digging through the drawers in the bathroom haphazardly, Karkat eventually discovered a sharp razorblade; with careful fingers, and after rolling up the sleeve of his sweater, he cautiously pressed the blade to his upper arm.  


What bubbled up…was actually a surprise.  


Candy-red, bright, bright red, bubbled up and began to drip down his arm—it seemed that though this curse changed his outward appearance, his blood had not changed.  


They had not changed him inwardly; they had not changed who he truly was inside…  


“KK? You almost done in there?” John knocked on the bathroom door, and it snapped Karkat out of his daydream and contemplations; he had been enraptured by the sight of his own blood, the blood he had despised ever since he had been born as a wriggler. For once, he was grateful for the sight.  


“Y-Yeah. Yeah! Wait a fucking second, will you?”  


Carefully, after dabbing the wound with a piece of tissue and throwing the razor away, the Vantas flushed the toilet to keep in check with his ruse; his bladder had dried up at the sight of who had become, and there was no need to stay in here any longer.  


He opened the door with a sigh, and there was John, smiling once again, “Fine, we can go now, you impatient ass.”  


“Great! I think you’ll like Karen, she’s really sweet. Really, really intelligent too! And Rose likes her. Heck, I bet everyone likes her, and-“  


Silently, Karkat followed the other back outside the home, and began walking towards the library—John had not even asked about the bike, which was a good thing, because the Vantas would have refused to even touch the horrible abomination. John, maybe, was just a bit psychic in that fact, since he did not even question it.  


And the human’s words died in Karkat’s ears, because he knew what Kanaya was like. She was kind, generous, and a bit of a mother hen to them all…especially Karkat himself.  


Sometimes, when he closed his eyes, he saw an older Kanaya hugging a younger version of himself; these ideas and dreams confused him, because, though she cared, she had never gone out of her way to hug him. But dreams were, after all, classified as foolish nonsense, and so he was certain they truly meant nothing.  


What was not foolish nonsense, however, was how Karkat did not need to know who “Karen” was, how kind she was, because he knew that already. He knew everything about everyone else, because as the troll that was the most despised, he was the most observant. He knew their little nuances, their quirks and their fears. Their loves and their hatreds. He knew that Nepeta wanted more attention from Equius. He knew that Sollux was head over heels for Aradia, even though she had broken his heart not two weeks ago by kissing the Sagittarius. He knew that Eridan was a hopeless wreck who hated lowbloods (and who may eventually want him culled if he ever knew of his true blood color), but who did have a good heart—maybe—in the end, and when it came to his friends. He knew that Tavros’ feelings for Gamzee were turning paler rather than turning redder, while for Vriska said feelings was turning from black to red, causing the poor Bull confusion.  


There were only a few things he did not understand: why Terezi had laughed at his confession and effort to win her over (and why she had refused to even be friends). Why Feferi still tried to talk to Eridan after hurting him. Why Sollux still gave two shits about a girl who had in no short stomped all over his bloodpusher and made him cry (believe this one, Karkat was there to witness the tears).  


And why he was so confused about what he felt for Gamzee…  


Humans called this emotion ‘love’…They had many emotions that trolls had never been bred to have…  


But Gamzee always seemed to gain those emotions, and yes, love was included, apparently. Karkat means that in a weird sense, such as Gamzee saying he ‘loves these motherfucking sopor pies’ or ‘loves this bitchin’ song’.  


Not ‘I love you, Karkat’.  


Not that Karkat would be able to say that in regards to the other, either. Please.  


He was not a human by heart; there was no reason to think such a thing…  


Trollian and human emotions were not on the same scale…right?  


He did not know that, either…He did not know why he was so confused recently when it came to his moirail…  


He also did not know why everyone else felt he was such a loser…But maybe it was because, in the darkest nights, that was where his own mind went…  


…And it was only Gamzee who would hug him on those nights, and whisper that he was ‘never fucking leaving’…  


He did not know why he should care…  


Care about any of them…  


But he always seemed to get involved…Always seemed to get involved to help them, and now they expected him to save them…?  


Did they not realize he would probably fuck this up…?  


Maybe. Maybe he would…  


But maybe that was not even the worst possible scenario, which was: 

That he would succeed and they would not give a shit.  


He wouldn’t be surprised if it was the latter, actually.  


He was never meant to be a leader…Even if a tiny part of his blood-pusher wanted to be such a thing...  


And not even John’s comforting hand on his shoulder (EW WHAT THE HELL. DISGUSTING NOOKSUCKER, HE SHOULD REMOVE THAT HAND—Oh, we’re almost there) dislodged the thought that he would fail…  


…One way or another.

\--------------------------------

Usually, Karkat has tact. Lots—  


…Okay, this narrator cannot lie. Lying is for men named Andrew. And for women named Palin.  


Karkat has as much tact as a wet seal.  


…Wet seals have tact, right?  


Regardless, Karkat should probably not have, upon immediately arriving at the library and spotting “Karen”, screaming,  


“KANAYA!”  


…Because yeah, shouting a trollian name in the middle of a human library will get people to look at you as if you’re on the types of drugs druggies had not even invented yet. Even John gave him a look that screamed “what the hell” in the politest manner possible.  


“…Can I help you?” Kanaya, in her human form, still had her classic un-amused expression that she wore often in the presence of her companions, and it was not usually directed at Karkat. This was not the usual, of course.  


“Uh-“ And now he lost the ability to talk; Kanaya and the qualities of her jade blood had not left her even in human form, the shock in turn affecting Karkat. Her hair was still short and dark, her eyes the brightest green possible. On her neck was a green gemstone necklace, with matching earrings adorned as well. Her dress was bright pink, very similar to a dress Karkat had seen her wear on Alternia. It…was truly shocking. He knew this could not be anyone else but Kanaya, and it was not just because her voice had failed to change. It was the shock of this that caused him to stall, and to shout out something that was not her ‘name’ in this place.  


“Karen, this is KK!” Thankfully, John had the brains to pick up where Karkat fucked up, “He’s looking for some people, and I told him I think you could help him.”  


Without looking up from the book she was stamping and handing to a child, ‘Karen’ hummed thoughtfully, “People, you say? Yes, I suppose I could assist you in that endeavor. Pray tell, who are you looking for?” She had seemed to get past his whole ‘shouting a foreign word in the middle of a quiet library’ thing, which Karkat was grateful for. She probably chalked it up to his…quirks.  


“Uh-“  


Or his stupidity.  


But again, John carried on,  


“A bunch of people! He said eleven.”  


‘Karen’ smiled at John, “Really? Eleven?” She turned her large eyes towards Karkat, giving a polite smile, “Have you found any of them yet…’KK’?”  


“Y-Yeah…I’ve found at least one.” He gave her a little shrug, “But I need your help on finding one in particular. I can take my time finding the others.”  


“May I ask why you need to find these people, KK? I do not feel I should give out their locations if it will land them into dangerous territory.” Another civilian came to the desk where Kanaya stood, checking out some books, and the woman continued her duty, “I hope you are not offended by the question, or me not pausing in my work to aid you.”  


“Not at all.” He really was not; that had always been Kanaya’s style, and it was…endearing. How she actually gave enough of a shit to help others, and how she did not change; even when she had matured into a rainbow drinker, she had kept her same personality; it seemed that had not changed even with the loss of her memories and the change in her skin.  


“So, why do you want to find them? Or, at least this one particular person?”  


The Vantas boy shuffled his feet, trying to remain coherent in his thoughts and words, “This one guy…Well, he can be a real fuckass-“ He noticed Kanaya frowned at the curse, “B-But he…uh. Well. He’s kind of my closest friend. And I’ve sort of lost him. Physically. And well, a bit mentally. And I’m pretty sure he’s here in this town. And he told me I had to find him, it was the last thing he said to me, actually. And if I don’t find him, I’m pretty sure he’s going to get himself hurt. I uh-” Realizing that he was trying to find the name of a ‘close friend’ would be shoddy and suspicious, Karkat hurriedly added, “I’m asking because I think he changed his name. Maybe his appearance, but…definitely his name. I haven't heard from him in a while, and now I think he's in trouble. So I need to get to him as soon as I can.”  


For a moment, the Maryam lass said nothing, and merely smiled in a way that spoke of contemplation and secret thoughts; then, she spoke her mind,  


“You really care about this boy, yes?”  


“Uh…Y-Yes. Yes…Karen….I do.” Ugh, that name was just not fitting for her. She was worth more than ‘Karen’.  


“What does he look like? Perhaps I have seen him. I notice many and speak to few, but I always remember all.” There was a twinkle in her eye when she spoke, and a regal laugh left her lips.  


“Well, last time I saw him…he was wearing clown make up. And he’s tall and lanky, has a throaty laugh.”  


John nodded in acquiesce, “Yeah! But I told him I’ve never seen anyone around that wears clown makeup.”  


“Neither have I…Though there are many tall men here. Skinny ones, too. Tell me, what else is distinct about this boy?”  


Karkat had to think, “Well…he uh…Likes the color purple? And pies?”  


That got a reaction about of both of them, Kanaya dropping her stamp used to mark the library books, and John letting out a gasp.  


“What?” Karkat snapped, looking between the two of them. He had little time for dramatics, after all!  


“GEZ!”  


They both shouted it at the same time, and Karkat found himself jumping, “Uh, WHO?”  


“Oh, I am such a fool.” Kanaya—Karen—laughed with a dainty chuckle, “Dear boy, you should have mentioned pies to begin with.”  


Seriously? That was fucking ironic.  


“Uh, why?”  


“Because, Gez is our baker here. He is tall, at least tall in regards to you. He is also fond of the color purple.”  


“Yeah!” John piped up with, “I just saw him wearing a purple bowtie just yesterday!”  


“Wait, bowtie? That doesn’t sound like my friend at all.” Karkat scoffed; Gamzee had never worn anything but his pajama pants and Capricorn t-shirt…or nothing at all.  


Well, looking at it positively, at least the Makara boy was not picky about clothes…?  


Too bad Karkat never looked at anything positively.  


“But truly, there is no one else that fits your description, KK.” The female gave him a soft smile, “He loves to make pies at the bakery; he does not run the establishment, but aids it. He loves the darker and lighter shades of purple, and usually adorns his body with something of the color each day. He also enjoys a bike with a horn on it; and he is a jokester-“  


“…Wait. Bike horn?”  


Okay, so this “Gez” liked pies…and purple…and had a name similar to Gamzee’s…  


…But bike horns? Now. Now we were getting onto solid ground, not just squishy and marshallow-y ground with just minor coincidences.  


“Yes. He rides a bike wherever he goes, much akin to John. And he is always--”  


“Smiling…?” It was just a hunch, but why not ask? If Gamzee was not showing off his face of pleasured stupor, he was smiling. It was always one of the two.  


“…Yes. Though he can be a bit of an odd duck, he is genuinely a good person. Very funny, too! He works right across the street—HEY!”  


Karkat finally lost his cool (again) and turned from Kanaya, who had never let him down before with false information before, and ran out the door. Of course, the Cancer nearly ran into a small, blonde girl returning a handful of books; he also missed Kanaya’s sweet smile and apology to the girl, whom John called (and would later call in front of Karkat) Rose.  


But these trivial facts were just that: trivial. He was tired of waiting for definite answers, and since he had been given two legs by some ‘thoughtful’ deity, he might as well use them.  


Stepping outside, hazel eyes scanned the street in front of him: a hardware store? Nope. A bank? Nope, try again? Eventually, when he spotted the building in question, the Vantas grumbled to himself, because why had he not seen such a building earlier? With its yellow and white awnings, and purple writing stating “Serenity’s Bakery”, Karkat scoffed at how such a place with bright colors could be home to anyone but Gamzee. Some of the other trolls had colorful personalities, but combine that with pies and baked goods? Well, no one else but his moirail could be here.  


Cautiously, and with a shaking hand, Karkat opened the door, hearing a small chime above his head; it was at this point that doubt began to plague the troll’s mind. What if Kanaya had been wrong? What if Gamzee—Gez—was somewhere else? What if-  


“Can I help you?”  


A rough voice with a calm demeanor called out from the front of the store, and now that he was standing here, Karkat took the time to gasp…and stare.  


There, standing behind a glass counter filled with confections, and drying his hands on a towel, stood a lanky boy with flour in his gelled back and short hair, with dark eyes that were nearly purple, but still mostly blue.  


Karkat would have recognized that face anywhere…  


…And yes, standing before him was the boy who had been on the sidewalk before.  


The boy who had given Karkat a confused look…but still the sweetest smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're wondering about Gamzee's appearance, don't worry! I'll include some pictures that were inspiration next time around :) Also, Rose and Terezi will formally appear next time, too.  
> Thanks for reading chapter two, and for all the comments from the previous chapter. I also hope you all enjoyed the Easter eggs found in this one, too! They were fun to write.  
> See you all next time! Next chapter should be up shortly.


End file.
